Chapter-1
Communication happens on The Listener’s terms.
This chapter sets the foundation for the book by introducing the idea that people communicate and behave in very different ways and that misunderstandings often happen not because others are “idiots,” but because they think and act differently. Thomas Erikson shares a personal story about giving a presentation where one person praised him, another criticized him, one wanted more details, and another stayed silent. This confused him until he realized they each had different communication styles. This led him to the DISC model (which he calls DISA in Sweden), where people are grouped into four colors: Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue. Each color represents a personality type with specific behaviors and preferences. The main message of this chapter is that understanding these differences helps us get along better with others at work, in relationships, or in everyday life.
Chapter-2
Why are we the Way We Are?
Where does our behavior come from? Briefly, it’s a combination of heredity & environment. Even before we are born, the foundations for the behavior patterns we will exhibit in adulthood have been laid.
How are Children Influenced?
Children learn & develop in multiple ways, but the most common is by imitation. A child mimics what he sees around him.
Our Behavior layers:-
1)Core Values
-It’s our deepest layer that are unchanging beliefs that are shaped by upbringing & Environment. Examples: the author’s parents have taught him to never lay hands on another person.
-An internal compass guiding one to think about what’s right or wrong
2) Attitudes
– opinions shaped by our experience
-The Author brings in how he has formed opinions based on his own experiences or on conclusions. He has drawn from encounters in the later part of School, high school, college, or from his first job
3)Core behavior
Both Core Values and Attitudes affect how we choose our behavior. Together, they form our core behavior. Our Core behavior is how we act in Complete freedom without the influence of external factors.
When are we ever completely free from external factors? People usually answer that by saying that when we are sleeping. But people are different. Some don’t care. They are always themselves because they’ve never reflected upon how they are perceived. The stronger your self-understanding is, the greater your probability of adapting to the people around you.
4)Moderated Behavior
How do Others really perceive me?
The people around us most often see our moderated behavior. You interpret a specific situation and make a choice about how to act based on that evaluation.this is the behavior that others around you experience. It’s all about the mask you wear to fit into a given situation. We all have several different masks. Having one at work and one at home isn’t that unusual. Look at this formula:
Behavior=f(pxsf)
Behavior is a function of Personality and surrounding factors
Chapter-3
An Introduction to the System
Note:
DISA is a Method to describe the differences in human Communication.
-DISA-on, an acronym that stands for Dominance, Inducement, Submission & Analytic ability. Each of these behavior types is associated with Color – Red, Yellow, Blue, and Green
About 80 percent of all people have a combination of two colors that dominate their behavior. Approximately 5 percent have only one color that dominates behavior. The others are dominated by three colors. While Green behavior, or Green in combination with one other color, is the most common. The least common is entirely Red behavior, or Red behavior in combination with one other color.
Chapter-4
Red Behavior
Red personality type, which is dominant, direct, and driven by results. Reds like to take control, make quick decisions, and avoid wasting time. They prefer clear, brief communication and dislike small talk. Thomas Erikson gives examples like how Reds behave in meetings they want people to get straight to the point without long explanations.
If a Red boss walks in and asks, “What’s the problem and what have you done about it?” it shows their action-oriented mindset. He also mentions how Reds don’t care much for emotions in conversations and may interrupt or appear blunt because they see efficiency as more important than being polite. While they can seem aggressive or rude, Erikson explains that Reds simply value speed, honesty, and results over feelings. To deal with them better, you need to be confident, clear, and show that you respect their time.
